Thursday, March 31, 2011

long time?

my brother Quinten is having another little girl named faith, due in june. Vernon couldn't be happier - a new neice in a new home. i'm so proud of that little boy, i could cry. he is officially a high school graduate, and he has just recieved a 2,000 dollar grant to start college in bio-deisel engineering(i think- it could be chemical) when he moves to vernal with Quinten to start a job as a rough neck.

i'm starting school too soon. i told vernon i would go with him. however, my lease goes up next month, so i'm a little more focused on finding another place of residency. SLCC here i come. (FINALLY) =]

Monday, November 8, 2010

=] i want to quit working at the theatre.
but it's a little scary. i've worked there for over two years, and i loved every minute of it. i was thinking about it all day today, and the only thing i could focus on was the free movie passes. *sigh*

vernon got kicked out of his procter home, sat in DT for three weeks, and now he's in a group home called the triumph academy for six months. all the way in brigham city. dumb brat. =[

i got to enjoy halloween in vernal. and i think i'm going again next weekend. and quinten and i are going to california in december for pink floyd. and they are comming here for christmas. =D it's all too exciting.

jamilyn is getting married. and i'm excited for her. =]

i work for a bank. isn't that a little weird? some 82 year old man told me over the phone that i sounded to sweet to work at a bank. it kinda made my day. at least no one has asked me if i was 12 yet, with my little girl phone voice. hm.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

"well out here is fine, if you got the time."

let me say,


life is good. and that's all. come back in a few months, and it will be better. ask me all about it, and i'll tell you. for a long time, almost everything is right. and i know eventually, everything will be right. thankyou. =]

Friday, August 20, 2010

#1. "baby girl, i missed you. i'm sorry i was never there and i want to fix it. i'll see you on tuesday, okay sweetie. daddy's coming all the way down there just to see you."
dear dad, you're not even sober, why are you saying this to me? why can't you call me when you're sober?! yeah, dad, i'll see you on tuesday. i'll go and get my precious little brother, and go to that damn hospital, and we will look for you for almost three hours, while i have to watch my little brother's heart break. and he had to watch mine.
go ahead and call me really late on tuesday, telling me you were sorry. tell me that you really were there, and it was just bad timing. help me set myself up to have this happen again. because i promise i'll let you. but i wont let you touch vernon.

#2. EVICTION. now what? damn.

#3. no more nik. somehow, i'm okay. but i'll miss him.

#4. no money. EVER.

#5. no mother. no father.

#6. STOP calling my brother a criminal, you bastards. he just made mistakes. but you all think you're to perfect to understand that. he's a better person then you will ever be.

#7. i'm scared. and i feel like i can't call and find out what's going on. i know i can't call. they don't want alot to do with me. but i'm worried about her. i'm so worried.

#8. D.L.M. is haunting my dreams. i can't sleep. i miss him so much. and it'll never get better.

#9. i feel left behind. but i'm Rachel's kid. so what did i expect. just like my mom always told me, and even like he told me, i'm not going to amount to anything.

#10. B.Ray.J. =] i'm so scared of you. <3

Saturday, April 24, 2010

oh mother, where art thou?

Vernon got released a little while ago.

he came to visit me at work on thrusday. it was exciting. and luckily i have an amazing manager that let me talk to him for about fifteen minutes. i guess he's living in a proctor home by the redwood drive in. he told me that while he was on his way home with our mother, he tried to fix her car clock. well, anyone who knows my mother, knows she thinks she knows everything. she thought it was one button, but the owners guide said it was another button that couldn't be found. so obviously, it was my brother's fault, and he was being 'defiant' and 'physically and emotionally abusive'. so his case worker had to go and pick him up.

now she wont return any phone calls, ever. and her number changed, and i guess there is talk of her moving? i don't know really, i've been told that when ever some one goes to talk to her for vernon, she's never there. why doesn't this surprise me? why can't she surprise me?

but anyway, my brother is out, he's going to granger high, he's getting his license soon, and he can talk to me as much as he wants.


Tuesday, April 20, 2010


so i got all settled in my little rented room, and what happens? the ceiling decided it was was time to hit the floor. yep. we were all watching the breakfast club, and the kitchen ceiling behind us collapsed. shortly followed by the bathroom ceiling.

so we did what we thought we were suppose to do, and we called the landlord. who said he would be there by seven. he never came. we called again, and this time it was 'tomorrow'. he still didn't show up. but i guess this isn't very uncommon, my room mates told me that it was really hard to get the landlord to come and fix things.

so we venture back into the house to see if one of our room mates, Ken, could fix it. but it smelt terrible. almost putrid. then we called the health department, who in turn, condemned the place, due to mold, and gave us three days to leave.

well this is the part where we get our deposits back from the landlord, and that has yet to happen.

so. after i just threw away all the boxes and was in love with the way things were, i had to pack up, all over again. and i was just getting ready to un-stress my life.

luckily, i found a cheaper, bigger, nicer, and better place in west jordan. the only downside to it is that it's a little far from everything. and the house is only like... two or three years old, so i shouldn't have to worry about the ceiling falling on me. =]

Wednesday, March 24, 2010